In a medium saucepan, melt the butter. Add garlic and cook for 2-3 minutes over medium-low heat. Add jalapenos (if using), red pepper flakes (if using), honey and hot sauces. Mix well and increase heat to medium. Do not let the sauce reach boiling point. Turn the heat back down to low and cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Coat the drummies completely with flour and set aside. In a large saucepan, heat the vegetable oil over medium-high heat. Add the flour-coated drummies to the oil, 6 to 8 at a time, and cook for 3 to 4 minutes per side, or until crispy. Pour the prepared hot sauce into a large bowl and add cooked wings in batches, tossing to coat. Serve warm, with a side of blue cheese dressing.
For the dressing: In a medium bowl, combine sour cream, mayonnaise, garlic, Worcestershire sauce, lemon juice, vinegar, salt and pepper. Mix well. Stir in blue cheese crumbles and chill until ready to serve.